Sidewalks Part II

Walking the dog, I notice now that my neighborhood has sidewalk elitism. The new-fangled development down the block with the HOA and rules and regs and speed bumps with non-descript homes and clueless suburbanites who leave their garage doors open all day and night have sidewalks. We on the other side of the tracks in the modest-income older home section do not. I have to take my life in my hands everytime I go to the mailbox.

Boyfriend has a friend on the police force in our county...when he asked him about what we could do to slow down the idiots who speed down our section of the neighborhood that has young children playing and a disabled child he replied "drywall screws". Just toss 'em out into the street. They'll learn. Well, I would love to do that but me and my non-constraint would probably wind up throwing them at the car instead of nonchalantly throwing them into the street in hopes of flattening a tire or two. Then we'd be in a real pickle.

Anyway, I digress...if our side of the tracks had sidewalks, I wouldn't feel as fearful just going to get my mail. As it is I have to look both ways before I get the mail. Plus, our mailbox has been vandalized on several occasions, once even the police were called because our mailbox head got chopped off and replaced onto our neighbor's mailbox post. Hooligans I tell ya'.  I think the suburbs need to re-evaluate what they have to offer...peace of mind? Quiet? Low crime? You gotta be kidding! And what the hell is up with me having to *walk* to my mailbox? Who ever heard of such a thing?

Afraid

I'm afraid. I had a scare. I'm not sure what to do. I'm trying to be sure I am looking out for myself but don't want to be drastic in my attempts. But when I find out the reality, I will follow the lead of the person whose opinion on the matter means the most.

I'll either be ready for a drastic change or find new meaning in how to determine how best to protect myself after a lifetime of others doing this for me and realizing I fall short when it become up to me to make the decisions and I can't recognize the situation.

My time has come.

Withdrawal Symptoms

I'm starting to have withdrawal symptoms from being away from New York City for too long. I have sudden urges to hop subway trains and eat in trendy cafes, window shop and tell someone I'll meet them at a numbered street and a numbered avenue without saying "avenue".

I want to go see a weird museum exhibit, I want to stroll through Central Park and sit down on a park bench and read, or sit in a coffe shop and surf the internet while waiting for a friend before we go see a movie.

I want to take the dog for a walk around the block or to the park to meet others with dogs so they can run around because my backyard is a postage stamp and not the grassy, wooded sprawl I have in reality.

I feel like going to the botanic gardens or to the beach before beach season to truly enjoy it. I want to do all these things I used to do when I was a city dweller rather than what I am now: a suburban commuter. Yeesh. Never thought I'd see the day yet here I am.

Last week I needed a bagel fix so I got a dozen bagels and 1/4 pound of lox. I want to answer questions with a question and be sarcastic and witty while narrowly avoiding double-parked cars.

I want to stroll down the street and see odd things that I wish I had my camera handy for. I want my small group of friends I once had that were always within short driving distance, walk, or bus.

I'm having withdrawal to the way things were, before I was so preoccupied with my academic life. Now that that challenge has been met, I think I am looking for more and city dwelling seems my way I know how. What is challenging about the suburbs?

Going home...

Home. Isn't that a funny concept? It can be a location but mostly it's a feeling. A feeling of warmth, comfort, ease and relaxation. That's where I'm going. Back to where I can be myself. Back to where I grew up and know that people there understand my sense of humor, the way I form a sentence and the sarcastic way I say and do things. Home is being understood by those around you. Home to me is Brooklyn. Where I lived for most of my life. Where I will go back to one day if it will have me. Where I can wander about and find things and do things and know how to get there and know what I'm doing there.

I don't feel pressured or out of sorts. That's what it is all about. Feeling at home in a place and with yourself. That's home.

Random Thoughts and Progressions

So I'm looking forward to my next few days off. I have come to this point in my life where I revel in the freedom I once longed for. I knew it was in my grasp and I fought hard to get there. Here it is. I feel vindicated. Is that the right word? Validated. Is that the right word?

Time off is a treasured thing. I want to focus my life on how to enjoy it most and maximize the time spent. What a novel concept for me. I still feel like I am contributing to the world at large but still can enjoy the time away doing what inspires me or being creative when I feel I can not be in my job. Some day I will be able to join those things I think. That will be a day when I know I have come to where I want to be.

New Orleans in November

I was in New Orleans for SETAC up until this Monday. Good trip. Interesting town. I did all the touristy stuff: walked up and down Bourbon St., went on a Vampire tour, drank a hurricane (only 1/4 of it), had my share of etoufee, gumbo and a shrimp po' boy. Tasted alligator, saw an alligator and an armadillo on our airboat tour. Also got to hold a baby alligator. it's nice to do something new and different every once in a while.

Now I am back to the grind. Did I mention I really hate this time of year? Shorter days, dreary weather, lonely feling, cold, limited to indoor activities, cold, drafts, chills after I eat, dry throats, sore nose, running nose, bad hair, the list goes on and on. Can't wear short-sleeve shirts, can't wear flip flops, can't swim in the pool, can go to the beach but nothing is open if you want to go there. Just got to suffer along until the spring and then realize I am again one year older than I was.

More Intensity and Books

So I will admit I am very much absorbed into the True Blood universe. I started reading the books only a week ago and I am already on book 2: Living Dead in Dallas. Thanks Charlaine Harris for writing something I can sink my teeth into and not get bored.

As for the HBO show, I keep watching things on you tube about the characters or last night I watched this promo thing where Alan Ball gave this synopsis of the whole first season. I am completely enthralled.

Now, last week I was trying to find out what was wrong with me that I am so preoccupied with this. This week I am riding the wave. I am just enjoying the focus and fun of it all. Realizing why I am caught up is half the fun of being caught up. I just love the way Vampire Bill is devoted to Sookie. Even after she thinks she wants to be with someone else. She comes back to him. She awakens something in him he thought he lost. True Love. You can't beat that, even with a Vampire...even better with a Vampire :-)