So I was all set to do the Warrior Dash, what happens? I bust my knee....two weeks before I'm supposed to do this awesome race I kept telling everyone about, that I prepared for for 5 months. Fuck!
Next, I finally go see the orthodontist, what does he tell me? I need to possibly have jaw surgery, my mouth is completely awful, it may cost up to $9,000 and the implant, is iffy. Might have to remove a tooth to put in a fake tooth or move a tooth that might require a root canal. WTF?
Not the worst of it: new employee, who in all the world does it happen to be? Someone I never liked in my old grad program who is a passive agressive yuk. Maybe she has changed but I dreaded this day since M told me.
I am starting to culminate all feelings about the disappointment in A. I realize once he does turn his life around, what is left is a legacy of hurt and let down to whom? Me? almost 7 years of letting me down when a relationship should be about helping the other up. But what did I do? I sat there and let it happen. I did nothing to change my situation. When I thought I could break out on my own, I chose being with someone for the wrong reasons rather than being alone for the right ones (apologies to John Hughes, I stole from ya big time there).
So now where am I? Let's sum up: busted knee, crooked mouth, financial precipice because I stuck around and a work situation about to go really sour. If I look at this all negatively, this is where I am. If I look at it positively? I can only think that my knee will get better, it will take a while but somewhere down the line my teeth and jaw will be perfect and I am strong enough to put up with K and all her stupid passive agressive nonesense if she so happens to wield it now. But as for me and A? For a while I've been pretty upset, just letting it go and drag on. Just like he did ; with no action taken. And so I can only be dragged on some more I guess because I won't go, I won't pick myself up and start over. Is the fight in me gone? Am I too scared? The world could be my oyster and I could head back to NYC. Back to my roots.
