A little dose of Brooklyn

I can not tell you how good I felt to be back in Brooklyn for just 4 days. I felt it the minute I got on 278, I got exhilarated as I turned off the Verrazano. I blasted "The Stoop" while traversing the Belt. I felt confident, secure and so sure of myself when driving down Avenue L and avoiding the crazed Orthodox Jews trying to get all they needed to get done by sun down even though when I arrived it was only 3:30 pm. I guess everyone was rushing home from work as well.

My long drive gave me the time to think about being in Brooklyn by myself, without A. Although I love him dearly and find his companionship all I could ask for, he is no fan of the big city and I find that a huge point of contention. How can you love me without loving what is me? Or at least, understand how it feels when you bad mouth the city and that doing so hurts me, personally. And as the song goes, "...this 'hood is my home..." and so defines me. Understand that and hold off on your insults to crime ridden neighborhoods that make you feel unsafe and trapped, and open your mind to the culture and atmosphere that is there for the offering. I don't stand there and bad mouth your home or your roots so know that it hurts when you do that to me.

I felt so good the entire weekend because I was in the skin I am most comfortable with. I was surrounded by my family, in a familiar place and saw familiar things I have known since being very little. I need to do this for myself I have decided. I need to go back to Brooklyn as often as my free time will allow. And most of that time leave A home. Although so many people asked about the dog, I don't think I will leave her home again, just A. He can stay with the cats and fish.

But this is key. This is the key to my balancing my life I think. I just need a little dose of Brooklyn every month or so...to keep me going and to keep me in touch with the me I know and love and felt like for so long I had lost.

So, when I feel the current me dwindling down to that self-loathing, INTJ, anxious, unsure of herself, low confidence having unrecognizable me, I will know to book my trip, tell A in advance he needs to stick around and take care of the cats and me and the dog are going to get our Brooklyn on.