Breyer Horses

Most of my childhood I can remember not playing with dolls but instead playing with my Breyer horses. I would save up my allowance each chance I would get and buy the newest one or the one I liked the looks of. I would play in my room for hours, making courses for them to jump, grooming, and saddling them up. I would make blankets for them and I even made a 4 stall stable and tackroom out of cardboard taped together that I placed in the corner of my room. "Corner Stables" I called it and I had a horse blanket custom made by someone with the name on the side. I made my own grooming tools too, a hoof pick I made by bending a paper clip I had cut short, a curry brush from some velcro glued to a piece of fabric. Buckets and sponges made from a piece of a dish sponge cut really small and a plastic container from something or another my mom had lying around.

I loved my Breyer horses. Still do actually. When living in Brooklyn did not enable me to be nearby a place where I could ride, my Breyer horses let me do so in my imagination instead. I imagined I was a great cross-country rider or a great equitation enthusiast. I could be a show-jumper or a dressage competitor or even a racing horse jockey.

My horses were cared for well, lots of imaginary hay and healthy oats and feed to make them strong and fast. I could take them for a walk in the field (the carpeting in my room) just on halter and they would follow me where I went and nuzzle me with love. I could always hug them and be there for them for whatever they needed.

A few weeks ago Amber's dad posted a message that stated if someone was interested in her Breyer horse collection that the family kept in storage he was interested to know. I sent him a message. I remember when Amber showed me her collection. She had more Breyer horses than I could ever have. We had a few of the same ones. Her father said she did the same thing: played with her horses instead of dolls, made a stable for them and everything. Amber and I were one in the same in that respect. I told him I would be honored if the family would let me have them. He said that his wife was not ready to part with them and understandably so.

Dear Amber,

I just wanted to let you know that I miss you lots. I was waiting for you to be done with vet school so we could reconnect and I would come visit you and Jill since I know you wouldn't want to come to the East Coast. A West Coast girl through and through, Iowa was as far East  as you would tread.

I had such high hopes that you would have your own practice or however you wanted to spend your days as a vet, to live your dream. I wanted to meet Floyd and Kelty in person. I wanted to reminisce with you about our days at Adobe and thank you again for being there for me and have it be even a little bit tolerable only because you were there.

I can not do these things now and it pains me, saddens me. I am sad because you did not get a chance to be where you wanted to ultimately be. I am sad because Jill is left alone without her true love. I am sad because of all of the fuzzy ones you will never get to treat, and show your love to. I am sad because your family got cheated beause you were not here long enough for them to love you as long as they wanted to. I am sad because I knew you could do anything you put your mind to and that was taken away from you.

I am sad because I will never get to see you again.